Schiavoni Files

Excuse the cutsy title but the Californian love affair with a particular burger is starting to drive me crazy.

So most of my crunchy San Francisco friends would never dream of stepping into a McDonalds. They say it's unhealthy, exploitative, globalization at its worst. These are the type of folks where if you even mention your occasional affinity for a bigmac your social status plummets. Which is fine, McDonald's definitely has issues.

The thing is, many of these same people pull right up to the In-N-Out Burger without a second thought.

When I protest the double standard, I usually get two lines of defense.

The first is the health argument. I find this argument only mildly annoying. In-N-out may be a "healthier" then McDonalds. I'll believe it's made with fresher ingredients and probably isn't tested in those scary labs that are similar to nuclear testing facilities. But c'mon now, it's still greasy, mass-produced, cheesy artery clogging goodness. But I won't get too worked up about this argument because it could be mildly legitimate.

The argument that really drives me insane is the many folks that tell me--no, insist--that they only go to in-N-out because it tastes so much better then the other fast food places. This assertion drives me almost as crazy as women who say that diet soda really tastes better then regular or that thongs are not only more fashionable but actually more comfortable then briefs. Please people.

Taking out health variables or societal implications, if you did a blind taste between a McDonald's Big and Tasty and an in-N-out burger animal style or not, I bet McDonalds wins. And I'd the bigmac or the whopper blows it out of the water (it's the special sauce). I'll go so far as to say that the in-N-out burger is not that good of a burger. It's kind of bland.

So I'm not debunking the Fast Food Nation argument that they are more socially responsible, treat their employees better and buy some of their ingredients locally. In fact, I usually choose In-N-Out over McDonalds for those reasons. I just don't want to hear the taste argument anymore.

The Bigmac may be processed, homogenized, chemically infused crap that makes you feel like you ate a ton of bricks afterwards, but all that manipulation makes for some damn good tasting burgers. And don't get me started on the in-N-out fries either... cardboard.

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